As I was perusing our google analytics today (sure, I could be working, but this is just so much more “fun.”), I noticed that our highest referral was from the search words “goto poop.” Now, when we first started the site, I used to check the google analytics religiously, and this would just piss me off. I would see the the average visit would last 10 seconds and that no one from the states of Montana or Wyoming had visited our site (yeah, but those motherfuckers rolled over once I started a goddamn twitter feud with them, yeah boy!). After all this, I decided it wasn’t good for me to check the analytics anymore…it was bad for my blood pressure.

So today, out of nowhere I decide to check , and sure enough, I find our highest referral is “goto poop.” Now, when you are in this situation, there’s really only one thing to do….google “goto poop,” and what do I find, you ask? THAT WE ARE THE NUMBER 2 LINK ON GOOGLE FOR “GOTO POOP”!!! SUCK IT EVERYBODY ELSE! And with that, I’d like to announce my retirement from the interwebs. I’ve now achieved more than I ever could have hoped. Sidenote: I am NOT retiring from the interwebs and I’m gonna harrass you mother fuckers for a long goddamn time! As a matter of fucking fact, I’m gonna podcast tonight and you little bitch asses will listen to me (according to google for 1:33. Bitch.) I’M OUT.

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We are reviewing “The Other Guys” tonight and I wanted to shart out a quick little review/guide on how you should watch this masterpiece.

One thing I want to mention to you before you watch the movie, Adam McKay has a scene in a bar with the main characters blowing off some steam. It looks like it was shot like Carousel, directed by Adam Berg. Watch it now before you see the movie so you can see how McKay takes this awesome technology and brilliantly uses it for comedic effect:

töken experience from yöyen munchausen on Vimeo.

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Warning: heavy spoilers for Predators and Dinner for Schmucks

Movie Review: Dinner For Schmucks

Here is a new addition to our episodes: the Movie Rater. When we see a film, we like to find the ideal mix of beer, booze and buds to help enhance the viewing experience. The amounts listed below reflect my opinion on the ideal quantities consumed before or during the movie, “Dinner For Schmucks”.

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Disclaimer: I’m pretty sure this does not work on Blackberries. Sorry about that. As soon as I know about a fix for that, I’ll make the necessary adjustments.

Source: Reddit

I’ve been getting back into gaming since Steam became available on the Mac (more on that in a later post). While I doubt this Tron game will have graphics close to the cuts scenes featured in the Trailer above, I still love the spectacle and wonder of such small films.

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“Yeah, what is it now”, I replied.

“Why don’t you and your buddies adorn the racially inappropriate stereotype of Mexican’s wearing sombreros, mustaches, and ponchos and call yourselves the Arizona Republican Party?” the voice asked.

I asked my girlfriend what she thought and she said it was a bad idea. Ok, that a good sign. Later that night, my friends thought the idea was funny and insensitive. Signs were pointing to yes. I later asked Danny about it and he thought it was great, so that confirmed it. We will be the Mexican Arizona Republican Party! Ole.

So, I have a long commute to work and tend to think of pretty dumb stuff when I have an hour and half of public transportation. For the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about the different applications (apps) available on the iPhone and Droid systems. Apps, apps, apps running through my head. This morning, I saw this on Slashfilm.com:

So, my mind barfed out “Planet of the Apps” and Charlton Heston screaming at Steve Jobs to keep his lawyers and SDK agreements off of him. See what I mean about pretty dumb stuff. I did a quick search and found these two images:

After that, it was a quick trip to photoshop and then my stupid idea was done and ready to post. Even though I know my ideas are juvenile and base, I’m going to keep posting them here for me and our one fan in Nigeria to enjoy. That’s right my wealthy friend who happens to be a prince and can’t hide his millions with out my help, I’ve got your back.

eye see you

Who wouldn’t want to see mini-hugh’s daily adventures with his trusted sidekick “Blue Pill” as they fill attention-craving vaginas with sperm so old that it remembers the civil war, while fighting off erectile dysfunction, irony, and father time.

3 MORE INVISIBLE DICKS

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Oh and thanks for this Steve:

Why Steve, why?

1. Invisible Hair Suit

Massive props to Babs for finding this on http://youbentmywookie.com/

Snack Attack Mutha Fucka!

For as long as this song has been out, I can remember using it as an anthem for my nerdy-ass exploits. Many a Tuesday night or Saturday morning has been spent tokin’ and rolling out to a super nerdy movie. Some movies need to be seen when you high as bat pussy: Let the Right One In, Tron, Batman Begins, Stephen Tobolowsky’s Birthday Party, Brick, The Brothers Bloom, Lord of of the Mutha Fucking Rings, and of course, the Chronicles of Narnia. This song captures many of the things that dudes love: weed, hip hop, nerd shit, and mr. pibb.

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image courtesy of www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=158448

Here is where you click for additional borderline retarded rantings and observations of us.

Anarchy at iTunes, just press here and subscribe

Girls’ Night: [audio:episode-5-girls-night.mp3]

Full episode: [audio:episode-5.mp3]

Here is the full text from the article:

Erick Rivera liked to play the horses, but not in the Watch Them Run Around and Lose Money Betting kind of way. No, his passions heaved toward the more amorous variety…

The frisky 18-year-old is now charged with sexual misconduct with an animal and burglary, leaving few opportunities for criminal bragging rights when he eventually makes his way to the slam.

To round out this hilarious bit of news, here are two great articles about horses from theoatmeal.com:

How to Ride a Pony

Why We Should Eat Horses

Chuck returns on January 10th and we are very happy about this. For the few people that listen to our podcast, this is no surprise. Danny and I are are big chuck fans. In fact, one of the first gift I gave my girlfriend when we started dating was Season 1 of Chuck to watch on her iPhone on the way to work. She has a long commute and I enjoy making her carsick. If you are not caught up on the show, then get the first two season on Netflix pronto.

You can watch the Pilot on Hulu or watch it embedded below:

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Warning: So full of spoilers, it’ll ruin all the food in your fridge!

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Here is the Urban Dictionary definition of “Denis Leary”:

Urban Dictionary- Denis Leary

Donald Glover is an up and coming comedic actor that is a founding member of Derrick Comedy, writes for 30 Rock, and plays the character “Troy” on Community. Here is a great skit of his that I saw a while back:

Did you notice a SNL castmember in there around the 3 minute mark? Moving on to Community, here is a nice little montage of Troy and Abed’s shenanigans that are usually played during the credits:

Source: thesportshernia.typepad.com

Nichole aka "Snookie" aka "Snikers"

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That chick “Snookie” or “Snickers” is the a favorite of this show and one of the most notable characters on the show. Here is closing moments of her first night in the Jersey Shore house. Bless her…

Finally, here is an interesting clip of Snickers that was previewed during the credits of an recent episode.

And they say chivalry is dead. I think this clips is evidence that male/female relations are at an all time high.

Update: Cracked.com just put out a great article featuring bio’s and excepts from all the Jersey Shore cast members. Click The Situation’s Magic Card below to go to the article.

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Jonathan Swift was right!

I love farting. It’s my butt’s way of saying, “Hello, thanks for the food, smell my hot, angry death cloud.” Because I had a loving family and went to catholic school, I kinda like making other people miserable. A great way to do that is farting in public places and by other people. Here are my top 3 spots:

1. Public Transportation

want my seat? ok, smell my ass!

Living in San Francisco means that you get to ride Muni to and from work if you want to save money and not fuck up the earth. I love Muni but there are a lot of shitheads that ride it. After years of trying to be nice and normal, I’ve stopped giving a crap and decided to give a little back. To the fat guy with the all the news papers that takes up 1. 5 seats, I’m farting next to you. To the crazy hobo that smells like the urinal at Terry’s Lodge, I’m farting next to you too. And finally to all the Muni riders who get on the 30 and the 45 and pack the bus for 5 stops then get off all of a sudden, leaving the rest of us feel like we got groped by the Boxer Rebellion, I’m farting on all of you fuckers.

2. Next to Old People

Where's the rascal bitch!

I love the elderly. They fought the Nazis, are more racist than Lou Dobbs, and are fighting the battle to legalize weed for us. They also fart a lot. I like to join the fun once and a while and belt one out so they know we have the same hobbies. Who knows? They might even give me a high five for not shitting my pants.

3. Dive Bars

Bring Cash and Floppy Buttcheaks

I’ve been to Cheers in Boston and let me tell you, they didn’t know my name and they weren’t glad I came (all over their hand dryers mind you). While the icon of unchecked, fun loving alcoholism from my youth was anything but, I have come to know my way around a handful of great dive bars in the Bay Area. The locals look like extras in the Hills Have Eyes (the remake), the beer is cheap, and the decore reminds you of all the scumbags that tried to give your parents the clap when they were your age. After a couple beers with friends, I inevitably start farting. What can I say, I feel very comfortable. Those tacos I had about an hour ago want to say “Hi” to your nostrels.

Side note: Another place that I have been known to rip it up is at weddings. Seriously, what the fuck? I’m having a good time, dancing with my girl and all of a sudden my lower intestines have an opera they want to sing to the world. Maybe I shouldn’t always get the beef dish and polish it of with handfuls of cabage drowned in warm beer. Anyway, if you see me at a wedding and smell something bad, look for an old person nearby. They fucking did it! Back to you Danny.

You know, up until today I was thinking to myself, “Maybe the Bengals have it, maybe Marvin Lewis (or better yet, D Coordinator Mike Zimmer) finally gets it, you don’t need the most talented players, just driven players.” Well, that thought is gone. If Mr. Domestic Violence lasts more than 2 weeks on that team, say goodbye to the locker room and any chance in the playoffs. Not too mention, on top of it all, he hasn’t been productive the last few years (okay, I’ll give you that he was playing behind the worst O-line in football and had no QB, but that hasn’t stopped Stephen Jackson, so fuck you, I’m right). Anyhow, once again, no matter how close they get, the Bungles somehow always manage to screw it up. Back to you, Nick.
source: yahoo news

UPDATE: The Bengals started the season 7-2 and then went 3-5 after Larry Johnson signed. The only wins came against Cleveland, Detroit, and Kansas City, 3 of the top 5 worst teams in the league. They still managed to limp into the playoffs due to their pre-Wife Beater performance, but were immediately eliminated. I love being right.